When our Kings claim their Queens are jealous, shouting at her from his throne of power and might, hiding behind his grand, self created kingdom, he engages in a battle he knows oh so well. ‘You need help, you are losing your mind’ he yells at her
And she shrinks. Ashamed, not understanding what this feeling is, this label upon which he has placed her under. Tired from seeing the same story play out, she contemplates over and over again, this thing of which she stands accused. Feeling worthless and stupid for the rage arising in her, which he confirms in order to protect himself.
She asks herself ‘am I jealous? And she looks out and wonders, ‘do I look at others and wish I had what they have? ‘… For a long time she explores this, for it is her hearts strength that allows her to explore all parts of herself in order to be clear. She knows that things and objects and looks are temporary, this does not motivate her.
No, she real-eyes’s, it is not the outer looking in that she pays attention too, it is the focus of her King and where he sends that, which she feels. He stands beside her but he is everywhere else but here. And she can feel it. She sees this consistent seeking of attention , approval, of which he needs, hidden within his unspoken desires which are covered and protected by the wounds which have kept him separate from his own hearts supply. The same repetitive story of the aeons.
Truth fills her being as she allows this in-sight to reveal itself to her. Yet still she doesn’t fully trust it, for he the one who she has placed her trust in, tells her that she is crazy, completely mad, seeing things that are not there. And she further sinks into doubt, doubting the gift of sight which guides her beyond this physical realm of which he can only see.
And he, her high King continues to play with many courtyard ladies in waiting, while she his Queen suffers in silence and punishes herself. Trying desperately not to show this side of her for the blame and attacks that are directed towards her from men and women alike.
And she looks upon her sisters in waiting, and she wonders when did the sacred vows to each other disappear. The ones we inherited from the Goddess, our Mother. Where our integrity and strength of truth to our sisterhood was the true meaning of unconditional love, and how this harmony birthed peace among us here.
But some of her sisters are still sleeping in the garden, waiting for their King to arrive on his white horse & claim them. And so she forgives because she real-eyes’s that they know no different. Even though their seductive stares respond to the power of his mind, of which mostly he is unaware, yet not entirely, she remembers wise words ‘forgive them, for they know not what they do’
And the Queen rises once more, re-membering his wounded heart, and how fiercely he will protect its walls.
A Queen knows the thoughts of her King as he thinks them, she observes how he plays in this energetic game of chess. And her only intention and reason for being, is to guide him home into the only place that’s real, frequently seeking to take the war from him, to lead him from the battle field into the pathway of true love. But her King has been taught that he must conquer the world around him and that everything is his for the taking, and she his Queen can see that the only war that is happening, is inside his mind. For it is fighting with his heart. So the King continues his quest for the Holy Grail, lifetime upon lifetime, defending lies and stories, punishing himself & his Queen for standing in truth, the true core of love. Bit by bit his power is waning.
My darling King, if you wish to satisfy your mind and gain the admiration of all the sleeping Queens in waiting, by telling me that I am a jealous Queen because I see you clearly, then please continue as I step off the board game . And when you are tired from the endless battles and the loneliness creeps back in, bloodied from the wars you fight inside, as the temporary sensation of lust passes, you will find me at the point of your surrender. I will be here, waiting patiently, with the same heart that once frightened you by its power to connect you with yours, therein leading you straight to the Holy Grail that you have sought for so long. And when you finish telling yourself the stories, that add logs to the raging fire in your mind, here in your heart you will taste the sweetness & drink from the chalice, and only then will all the lifetimes upon lifetimes finally merge into One. And the true Queendom will arise.
For all my sisters who have forgotten themselves, deeply held under the spell that the wounded King weaved upon you, for your security, your sense of safety, in return for your body, submission and silence, who has moulded you into believing that in order to be loved and accepted, you must play only his version of the chess. To you dear sister I sing our song of sisterhood, to remember that the King can only move one step at a time on the board, whereas the Queens movement is limitless. Much the same as the gift of seeing beyond the veils, which is why we have worn them for so long, as a symbolic reminder of our gift.
As we rise into our truth, no longer shrinking under false authority, we see our King reborn as he rises into his. Transparency reigns once more and real love brings the land back to life.
This is the wisdom, the patience & the fiercly loving spirit of the feminine, as she brings the unconscious into the light of awareness