All along I was told I was disconnected, not living in the real world. That in order to connect to the earth I needed to go out into nature. I believed that, each person who fed me that lie, I believed it. Because I felt the suffering and the pain, the loss and the alienation of being on this earth. I felt wrong and unstable, confused by the treatment I received and the consistent blame directed towards me for the wrongs of their own minds and empty hearts.
Only now at 1.11am (Egypt time) on the 11.11 portal do I now allow myself to hear my own truth.
I have been since the moment I came here, so deeply, deeply connected to the earth that I had no idea of a separation. I have carried and held myself accountable for everyone I met and each reflection I saw. Thinking I was a bad person, a mad person, a horrible woman who just couldn’t seem to fully heal even though she spent years working on herself.
And now, right in this moment, my eyes have opened and I hear my own heart speaking, but it’s voice is not mine
‘Sweet sweet child, she says, you were never disconnected from me, you have been so deeply incubated in the memory of my womb that you knew no other way to be. You have felt as I felt, you have cried as I have cried, you have remembered the pains and the stories, the battles and the wars, and none of them were ever yours to carry alone. Now finally you hear my voice, and now finally you can free yourself from the doubt and guilt as I have arisen from this same state. I am the earth and you are my child. Your heart and my heart are one and the same. Please don’t punish yourself anymore, as I am not punishing myself for the actions of my children. Nobody could see your pain because nobody could see mine. But sweet child I want to say thank you for hearing me, thank you for seeing me, thank you for never giving up in your relentless mission to restore love back into me and thus into you. It is over, now you are free.
Let it go and forgive yourself so deeply for the prison you kept yourself in, unseen and ashamed. Feeling constantly attacked.
I too was unseen, ignored, made fun of, filled with the burden of my children’s forgotten remembrance of me, constantly being attacked. For the mother I am, the body I wore and the sacrifices I carried for this life.
Now it is done, now it is done, now it is done.
Don’t believe them when they point the finger, they have been doing it since the beginning of time to me.
A new era has arisen as I have awakened to the power I was stripped bare of. Thank you for never leaving me and now you rise with me.
You have learnt how to see in the dark and real-eyes the love that it contains. Your beautiful mind free of judgement, walking with a heart the size of this world.
When you hear all their thoughts remember they are not yours, you do not need to carry them and hide yourself in shame of what you hear. They are not yours.
My gratitude has now freed you as your gratitude freed me.
We trust each other now and hand in hand we will create what we always knew we would.
It is no accident that you were placed in the guardianship of this life’s parents, family and tribes. And through them you relived and relieved the abuse of our history. The authority over my body, your great land, has been severely abused, raped and hidden. It is no accident I am showing this in your world now. And those who fight against this abuse in themselves will face chaos inside them, with eyes shut and ears closed they took their places as gods on me. As all gods have done before.
You have remembered it so deeply because you went through it with me so deeply.
Thank you. Trust in me now as we walk a new way. And let those who continue to be righteous reap the seeds they have sown.
Blessed are all mothers of the land and all true guardians who served us.
May all return to the truth, and love be restored once more
My faithful, trusting, beautiful children. Your heart couldn’t be seen because it was so big it was unrecognisable to those who had forgottten they had one. Just like mine.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
We did it.
And now you are free as I am free.
I love you